A few Good Men

So something occurred to me tonight. Taking its roots during the painfully irrational period of high school, and with a bit more subtlety throughout the rest of life there is a term for the type of guys who struggle with the ladies, getting the promotions and being taken seriously. They are sweet and kind and would do anything for anybody at the drop of a hat, all other thoughts and personal thoughts tossed aside. They have been overlooked, under appreciated and taken for granted. They have their hearts broken when That Girl chooses the captain of the football team over them- or for the latter, is sleeping with the senior partner. Recently these people have spoken up and begun to question why they are looked over in everything that they want, and why it really is so awful being a "Nice Guy".

Tonight it occurred to me- nobody likes a Nice Guy. Really though, can you blame them? I understand that they are gentle and selfless and have nothing but the best intentions at heart, but when it comes down to it, they think nothing of themselves and everything for everybody else. A woman who never gave him the time of day suddenly needs a huge favor? Well, you just know whose going to be the guy to jump to and hope she'll notice him, really notice him for it. Of course she won't. At the very least, history's taught us that. They let themselves be treated the way they are, they not only get pushed over, but they actually clear the path to make the shove just a little more easier on the bully. Obviously they have little self respect or they wouldn't allow themselves to be treated this way, so how could anybody else respect them?

Much more rare, but often grouped together is someone very different. There are the men who do whats best for his family. He pushes for the corner office he's worked so hard already for when to opportunity arises, and takes the loss gracefully when he sees the better man get it. He doesn't beg or push too hard to romance a woman, or let everything go when she gets upset. He listens to her- really listens. He encourages her to go after what she really wants, supports her and challenges her. He respects himself and therefore is open for a real connection, be it romantic or otherwise. He isn't the man who comes home with a new bike for the kids, or helps clean up the dinner dishes. He is the one who teaches his son how to build that same bicycle, and turns a pizza into a romantic candlelit dinner when she burnt dinner. He is the one to go the extra mile to show he truly cares about her, and not what she represents.

The difference here is admittedly slight, but is similar to the same slight difference a matter of inches make before falling off a cliff. They are life and death. They are the Nice Guys vs. the Good Men.