Second chances

So, yes, I realize I'm jumping the gun a bit here but in all seriousness, when have I ever been mistaken for the patient one? Oh right, that'd be never. And so, that said, I will begin telling the magnitude of no one reading this exactly what I'm so thankful for.

My mother is amazing. Who knew we'd get from where we were my freshman year of high school to where we are now. I didn't give her enough credit and she just didn't see me. Whether I meant for her to or not, she's learned nearly everything I've done and I imagine can assume the rest. Regardless of all of it, she's stood by me, helped me, supported me in whatever way she knows how, and kept me safe. I'm still driving, my boobs are done, I didn't file for bankruptcy and was never taken to court by USF credit union. Without everything she's done for me, especially this past year or so, I would not be where I am now. I wouldn't be so focused on getting where I need to be, would still be coasting, would not be living on me own or be so hopeful to put whats behind behind and see so much good ahead of me. I know there was more to my accident that she told me, and who even knows what else there was more to that I never found out about, but she knew I was hurting, knew how stressed and heartbroken and mentally broken I'd become. She hid it, and helped put me back together..... And the second I just wrote that, it occurred to me that because of what Jason did to me, I began partying more and sleeping around and being so reckless.... who knew way back then that the one person to fix me would be the one person I tried my hardest to hide it from. Just goes to show.

I'm thankful, as always, for my brother. The one who gives tough love without fail, even with the year from hell he's had himself. He's broken, too, and still is there for me no matter what mess I get myself into. As awkward as it was, he was there for me after my surgery when mom had to work, and mumbled out some kind of "you look good". Who has only ever had the very best intentions at heart for me, even if I don't agree, and- as I've said many times before, still rings completely true- saves my life, daily. He's who I work for, who I straightened up for, and the one person I work to make most proud.

For Crystal, for taking such good care of me, always, even when we may not see eye to eye. my shoulder to cry on, who would kill anyone who dared to hurt me, who dresses me up and does my hair to meet his family because my hands are too shaky to hold the straightener. Who feeds me when I'm sad, sick or poor.
For my dad, who through everything has helped me come up with a game plan to get me back on my feet and stay there. Hopefully it actually somehow plays out as smoothly as we expect it will! Who accepts everything I do, as hard as it may be for him to hear and see this coming from his daughter. It's rare, especially for me, to be able to be so comfortable and able to say exactly what I think in front of anyone, much less family. Thinking about it, that may not be a good sign in this particular case, but that's the point of this holiday. so I'm just grateful for a place to be myself, whatever the reason, with someone who cares so much.

For the opportunity to live in this house with such good friends, and such low rent. I have would never in a million years, with the way things have been, been able to get back to Tampa and on my own without this chance.

I'm amazingly thankful for his second chance God has blessed me with to straighten myself out. This time I won't be stupid. This time I'll get it right, and hopefully deserve everything I have that I'm so completely thankful for.