Dear boy...

You are amazing, your energy is amazing, and the sex is amazing. However, I don't trust you anymore.Yet. I fall for you too hard too soon, every time. The others, recently, have all been leaving me for other girls. YOU left me for other girls. twice. I love that we snuggle even after we fall asleep, when I normally cannot stand skin touching at bedtime. I love that lately, especially, you kiss me differently-- more sincere, slower. I told you so, and you pretended not to have noticed. I haven't decided if I love that or hate it. I probably can't decide because I hate that I have no idea how you feel about me, because I'm too busy feeling so much for you. I love that I lived with you. I hate that, because I've lived with you, I don't know how prone to calling girls you are, in general. It makes me nervous that you don't call me. I don't really give you the chance to not call me. I always want to hear your voice. The sex is too good. Too good to say no to, which makes it much too hard to choose many other activities over it. I want to have less sex. Maybe even no sex. And talk more. See you more. Everything else more. You make me nervous, and my heart race. I talk in long run on sentences, except with you. Now it's all bullets. Short thoughts I'm surprised at myself to manage out. I turn to mush over you. I know I seem smitten all over again for you, but I'm not. I'm guarded and trying and nervous and backing you up. I'm just waiting for the day you leave me again. I partly know it'll happen BECAUSE I'm just waiting for it.
Please realize what you did to me last time, so you can fix this time and stay.
yours truly,
Jess