My heart is sturdy but it needs you

I got to thinking tonight. Alex is laying on my bed behind me, crying and fighting on the phone with his latest, most current love. Meanwhile, Crystal is on the other side of town, bouncing from guy to guy one night to the next, restless and unsatisfied. Back in Plant City my mom is with a man she claims to love, someone who finally makes her happy but just can't seem to get it together. All the while, all my life, claiming my dad to be the love of her life, her soul mate.

It should be so easy, relationships. It should really be just so simple as " I think you're an amazing human being, and I enjoy spending time with you", and vise versa. Then from there you watch movies, eat dinner, and take bubble baths. Why does there seem to be no such thing as a stably happy relationship? Does there always have to be some complication? Someone else, mixed emotions, complications? If two people love each other, why is that never enough?
I cannot bring myself to trust Erik. He's done nothing wrong now, but he's left me twice before. it used to be that the title would give me the comfort and stability I need, but now-after Patty- it seems like nothing so simple could keep me feeling so safe. He told me he loved me that night, and still broke my trust within weeks. How can I believe anything, really? Especially from someone whose already given me reason not to?
It seems this should be so simple as, I care for this boy Erik, he cares for me and we're happy.



It's said that those who have loved have really lived. I disagree. I think that everyone at some point feels love in their lifetime. Most everyone will love and lose, feel true elation and cutting heartbreak. The real lucky ones are the ones who manage to find happiness. by finding themselves, finding love, and still keeping a firm grip on both. Who can say they've done that? Very few. A very lucky few.
I should be so lucky. For now, all we can do is enjoy our elation while it lasts, because it rarely does, and try not to look ahead to any heartbreak.