How old am I?

In an effort to keep myself distracted from NOT being 21 this year, and still make it a useful birthday at 20, Crystal, Jon and I went to Magic Kingdom yesterday. All day long people were asking me how old I was turning ( being that neither me nor my friends are subtle, it was hard to miss it being a birthday). Every time Id answer, amiling " twenty!" and they'd all say "twelve??" I must have gotten it 3 times. I'm sure they train the employees to say 12, prime Disney age that it is. Or maybe 20 and 12 just sound similar. I don't know. At first I thought it was cute, remembering my last trip to Disney I claimed all day long with Kristin Taylor that we were 7.

Tonight I find it much less adorable. Really, though. How old AM i?? Because the way I'm seeing it right now is that I'm leaving for Knoxville tomorrow morning but cannot take my own car because Mom doesn't want me to and it's in her name. If I do anyways, I'm kicked out of the house, seeing as she's checked the mileage and she sells my car. She wants to use MY car to save on gas, so she wants to drop me off at Crystals. I lied saying I'm going with Crystal because I wouldn't be allowed to go with Maria.

Honestly.... what the fuck?? How old am I? When is enough going to be enough for me to stop screwing around, and move out! Enough was enough months ago. I should be in Tallahassee right now, but I'm not. I never got a better job because I was leaving soon anyways. And now I haven't left, I'm stuck. Now I'm falling into tiny little crying fits like a twelve year old throwing a tantrum. Did the Disney employees really get trained to say 12, or is my complete lack of independence just shining through my face?? I'm sick of this, I'm ready to go. I never intended to stay in Florida, much less Tampa, much LESS Plant City, of all places. And now I'm 20 years old and still here. Still lying to my mom about who my friends are, and what I'm doing. at 20. goddamn. years. old. Really, now. Thats not even just dependancy, thats immaturity. I'm done with it.

It's time to go. Lets hope I really do fall in love with Chris Eads and the beauty of Knoxville.
Fingers crossed!