I cave, I cave.

I'm getting help. I know I need it. Hell, even if this had never happened, I'd still probably need it. hah. Apparently mom already knows a great woman on harbor Island who helped Brian when his dad died. So... I'll go see her.


It's fucking Christmas, and my dad decided to drill Maria's death into my as a driving school lesson. Really?? Today was hard enough, fuck you. I lost it a bit. Cried the whole way home. Let out a nice good scream in the car for the first time. I've needed to scream. One nice long loud shrill Shriek. Beautiful.


I'm hoping therapy helps. I'm not doing well. I miss denial ;)

Terrible-ness. ♥