GREAT answer.

So, to catch up.. I caved. Like I knew I would. We're back together.

Yesterday, I was being the most horrible person possible to Chance. I was loud, and a bitch and sarcastic. I rubbed everything he's ever done in his face, and twisted every single thing he had to say into something terrible. I picked fights and won them. And I Did. Not. Care. I realized I was being horribe, but I also "knew" he so deserved it! He was saying the things in the first place! its not myyy fault they're so easily twisted! maybe he should just speak better!

yeah....

And it didn't stop, not all day long. He just layed there and apologized and kept quiet. It wasn't until we'd gone to bed, and Crystal started texting me all upset about something that I started to cool it. Having to be so sweet for Crystal made me lose my anger, and suddenly it was perfectly clear why I was being so terrible... It's that time of the month again. And no, I do not mean the "yay I'm not pregnant!" kind. It's the "One week from today will be 5 months" kind.. and the only words I could muster before I lost my voice altogether to tears was " i'm sorry for being so horrible today. Its just.. b-b-b-ecauseeee" and he helped me to finish my sentence with an " I know why.. I'm here for you" *cue hysterics* He pulled me in close, and let me cry all over him. This is the third time now I've made this poor boy's chest all soggy. Once I started to regain normal breathing patterns again, I told him I was sorry. That he wasn't perfect but nobody was, and that I am truly lucky to have him.
Honestly.. what man does that? Who accepts a verbal beating for 10 hours straight, fully aware that it's for no good reason, having nothing to do with him, and just... takes it? He knew I was hurting, he knew why before I even realized it. He remembered her anniversary when only my mom has done that, and he set himself up to be my outlet... Who would calmly and willingly accept that abuse?
Maybe I'll laugh at myself for this months or years from now, and say "what the hell did I know" but after seeing how much he cared for me, and what he does for me that I may not always see... I think I really Love him.. god help me.

He saw it happen, too. Saw my face soften and my eyes light up. He rolled over me and kissed me slow, as we whispered to eachother about I don't even remember what. He kept asking me what I was thinking, trying to get me to elaborate, trying to get me to say it. The only answer I could muster being, "Just realizing how much I care for you.." causing the inevitable "How much is that?". My eyes got huge when he asked me. I looked up at him and lost myself in the battle between sage and sand in his eyes, curling my lips together for fear the words would fall off the tip of my tounge and out into the open air where nothing can be taken back. Even the occasional need to open my mouth and catch my stolen breath was a struggle to keep the words back where they belonged.. remembering Patty. Remembering it's not always best to say them, and it's scary for a reason. After an eternity of silence, I pulled myself close to him, and kissed him slow. He finally said "good answer".